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I found this on another site but thought it was good!

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK -- She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

2. She is not a SCREAMER or a MOANER -- She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

3. She is not EASY -- She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

4. She is not a DUMB BLONDE -- She is a LIGHT HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

5. She has not BEEN AROUND -- She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

6. She is not an AIRHEAD -- She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY -- She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS -- She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

9. She does not NAG YOU -- She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

10. She is not a Tramp -- She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

11. She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS -- She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

12. She is not a TWO-BIT Hooker -- She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.

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HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a BEER GUT -- He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

2. He is not a BAD DANCER -- He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME -- He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

4. He is not BALDING -- He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER -- He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.

6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK -- He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS -- He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG -- He has SWINE EMPATHY.

9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT -- He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

10. He is not HORNY -- He is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

11. Its not his crack you see hanging out of his pants..... It's REAR CLEAVAGE.


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